Writing this to an unknown audience is, of course, difficult. Do I write to the ones I know read this, playing to their fancies and avoiding hot spots? Do I write only inside jokes and personal experiences that give status updates on what I am doing and where I am going on a semi-weekly basis? Should I read my web reports, find the most accessed topic and continue to write to that audience increasing the “popularity” of this site? On the other hand, do I write to the general public with an average reading level of 8th grade and lower. Oops, that last comment may have just eliminated some people and possibly offended others. Never taking this to be a personal blog, where I share my personal feelings and beliefs, it would be a paradigm shift to chronicle my daily experiences and thoughts all of a sudden. Nevertheless, this could be exactly what I need to continue my own growth. Given the last several months of way too much going on in my head, the break from school provides time to refocus before the madness beings again. During the first half of this time off, I feel as though I’ve ascended to a new level of awareness regarding myself and its potential prowess. With this self-awareness comes the self-actualization that I do not feel the constraints of others, either perceived or received in living the everyday. I once expected myself to respect this self deception regardless of it devaluation on my own life. Solace in silence and self-study spurred my new found will to change things I once thought apart of myself for life.

As Nietzsche, Maslow, Piaget, Freud collectively point out—either bluntly or implied–that one should esteem small truths and not hold higher the aloof bombastic claims of universal truths as it only hinders the progress that all must seek for a higher self and society. For so long my life focused on esoteric metaphysical contemplation, with just the brief exposure to the hard sciences, I’ve come crashing to the ground quickly.  Easily fixation sets in causing slow thought and stifled creativity, ignorance of the small things for the later, bigger and better, fear in regards to the perceived response of others, creating a insurmountable inertia that kept a true representation at an arms’ distance. Upon acceptance, inertia learned for many years fell away in a single deep breath. How can I ever develop my potential for effect if I never discuss openly the things that I find a contrast to progress? I feel so many things left unsaid, left un-uploaded, left un-played, left un-sketched which I recognize merely as attempts to continue with personal development undisturbed. It is amazing how one can allow such a noticeable change to take place with minimal effort while maintaining the core essence of one’s self.

I find my self expression takes various forms, the least being by my own mouth, which is a fact that I must accept about myself.  Spending so many years on the stage, publicly advocating a belief that I no longer hold dear, still leaves me hesitant to spend more time in public efforts regarding the flexible nature of my life.  Instead, I will focus on vocal silence in exchange for this site displaying my voice.  For the last two site changes, the entire site would be trashed and restarted from scratch.  However, this time, I leave you with the historic data and a washed out layout which you’ll slowly see change over time, a reminder that I am in constant flux.  It’s just who I am; I can be no more or no less than me.

Phew! Year number one just wrapped up today after a grueling written Java exam. It feels good to be back into the swing of school after a 9 year break and to be one year closer to my end goal. Taking summer classes requires a bit more endurance than I’m used to, typically having 3 months off to rest my noggin from the traditional school year. Topped off with the fact that the quarter shortened by 2 weeks and the last week being finals, the amount of material shoved into 7 1/2 weeks tested my limits of information consumption and it is time for a serious break. With all this time on my hands I hope to:

• Catch up on 10+ months of barely having time to hang out with MV.
• Enjoy sleep without crunching calculations or running through unsolved logic problems
• Possibly play more than 2 consecutive Tuesday Night Game Nights in a row, breaking my previous record of 1 every other month.
• Finish Metal Gear Solid (PS3)
• Finish GTA (360)
• Finish Soul Caliber (PS3)
• Finish Zelda (Wii)
• Rock tennis lessons
• Keep up on practicing Java and Math to keep fresh for Fall quarter

Ahhhhh, 1 week of staycation and 4 weeks of just the 9 to 5 and whateva the hell I wanna do. It’s gonna be good.

For the first time, the opposing powers in the next-gen game console industry commune in one Tri-Axis of Evil. A conspiracy to capture all of my spare time outside of school, work and wife as well as consume more power than all of my other appliances combined threatening the power resources in Seattle. So far, the previous leader Xbox 360–had been flying solo for a year and half–has been dethroned by the others, with the PS3 taking the primo seat in the component shelf. So far, the P3 is the quietest with the longest lasting controller charge times–and sweet Blu Ray–followed by the Wii’s quiet hum and lastly, the noisy-ass 360 roar and short controller charge life. Together the Tri-Axis provides everything I could ever want out of video games until the next console comes out–of course!